Wednesday, August 22, 2012

I Want My Ex Boyfriend Back - How To Make It Happen

I Want My Ex Boyfriend Back  -  How To Make It Happen

Relationships never end well. If things were going great for both parties, they probably wouldn't end. Like it or not, your ex-boyfriend decided to walk away and left you with very few options on the table. Instead of drowning yourself in hot chocolate and romantic comedies, keep your chin up. You can get him back - and it may not be as difficult as you think.

Think Before You Do Anything Else

Now is the time to use your brain. Think through different scenarios and try to put yourself in his shoes. How would he react in certain situations? Would he respond well to one course of action but not well to another? These questions need to be answered before you can start the process. It's going to take some time, patience and effort but making well-informed conscious decisions puts you one step ahead of the curve.

Your mind has been racing ever since he broke up with you. You've come up with (and subsequently discarded) a million different ideas with varying results. While you're sitting there attempting to control your thoughts and emotions enough to get a handle on an emotional situation, your ex is out there somewhere and you doubt that he's just hanging out with the guys and drinking beer. The unknown can be a huge detriment. Your mind makes up all sorts of possibilities that seem to appear regardless of how hard you try to avoid them.

Your mind may be your biggest enemy right now and not the valuable ally you had in mind. It's prompting you to act, but it's not giving you adequate tools to accomplish your end goal. That's why thinking things through completely and sanely is such a vital part of the process. If you approach this difficult situation rationally you have a much better chance at success than any sudden moves.

Create A Little Distance Between You Both

Guys can be strange creatures. They don't respond to things the same way women do and it's often hard to put yourself in their position. After a breakup it's in your best interest to stay away from him - for a while, at least. Obviously the distance can't continue indefinitely if you want a chance to get him back, but for now look at it as a positive thing. In essence, he's giving you a chance to arm yourself wisely and prepare for your next moves without having to deal with tense or awkward contact. Take this time and use it to your advantage. That way you can be in the best possible position when the timing is right - and that is truly an advantage that you can't let go to waste.

Not all of your efforts have to be in vain - and not all of them have to take an endless amount of waiting around. There are ways that you can get your ex-boyfriend back and some can be implemented quickly.

One of your best options will have a double impact and can seriously increase your potential in his eyes. You can reverse the way you reacted to the news that he was leaving and leave him wondering what you're up to without having to talk to him at all. Just because contact is on a temporary hiatus doesn't mean that he's not paying attention to what you're up to. He's looking for clues anywhere he can - mutual friends, Facebook, family members. He may be playing it cool, but he's counting on the fact that you're still heartbroken. You can shake him up a lot by letting him see that his expectations may not be a reality.

Getting His Interest Back

For you to regain your ex-boyfriend's interest, you need to start in a way that may seem a little strange or counter-productive. By now you've limited contact with your ex - or stopped it all together. That is the key to unlock his emotions in a way that he never expected. Once you're gone, he's going to start missing you. He's going to have to acknowledge that you filled a large part of his life and now that part is absent. By staying away even for a short amount of time you're going to make a huge difference in how the rest of the process plays out.

You're going to make him sit up and take notice of your new attitude and you don't need to do flailing jumping jacks to do it. Instead of succumbing to drama or mind-games, do what you need to do. Give him the impression that you've accepted the breakup and you're looking forward and not backward. Show him through your behavior that you're okay with what happened (even though you're not) and that you're ready to move on. Nothing will capture his interest more than realizing that you may be moving ahead and you don't need him around to do it.

Everything that your ex believed immediately following the breakup about you and your former relationship is starting to crumble around him. He's realizing that his foundation is not as secure or certain as he first thought. He's going to start wondering what's keeping you away. It's going to become clear quickly that you're no longer pursuing him. Something obviously had to change. What if you have something better to do? What if you're done with him for good? What if you met someone new?

This is exactly where you want him to be. He's starting to doubt his decision to end things as he is forced to face the reality that you're no longer there. He's going to want to keep you around even if he's not ready to be your boyfriend again yet. He's going to want to keep his options open and in order to do that, he's going to need to take action. He needs to find a way to keep you around, and the ball is in his court.

Recognize the Truth about His Feelings and Existing Ties

You're still in love with your ex, but you've just imagined that his feelings aren't the same because he decided to leave. Nothing could be further from the truth. Emotions take time to develop and they can't just be left behind in the course of a breakup.

Having a plan is your key to victory, and right now it's your game to lose. Don't jump into something without considering the outcome thoroughly. You know that his feelings are still present and you can encourage them to make a gradual reappearance. You don't have to wear a cardboard sign of all of your best memories on the street corner and hope that he notices. You can encourage him quietly and make him believe that it's all his idea.

If you can pull this off, you can start to make real headway. Without a plan, you're kind of drifting in the wind and you never know which direction to take. In essence, you're putting everything out there and just hoping that things work out in your favor. Leaving it up to chance is tantamount to giving up. However, if you work smartly behind the scenes you may be surprised at your end results.

Your Next Steps

Nothing works better in getting your ex boyfriend back than making him miss you. Without this he will never feel the need to get back together with you, he will just be happy to move on with his life. Another useful thing for you to do is to make him want you back. If you can create attraction and desire again, he will be weak at the knees for you like he once was.

Before you get there though you will have to be aware of common break up mistakes that women like you have a habit of making. If you can stay clear of these things, you will have a much better chance of getting him back. Also, be on the look out for signs he still loves you. This will let you know where you stand and how much work you have to do to turn things around!

Source: http://www.streetarticles.com/reconnecting/i-want-my-ex-boyfriend-back-how-to-make-it-happen

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